On Cruelty vs Empathy and Kindness…

current events, Empathy, Kindness 1 Minute

Please watch this two-minute snippet from Illinois Governor JB Pritzker’s June, 2023 commencement address to the graduating class of Northwestern University.

There are many distinctions to be made between the two men running for president this year. The contrast between cruelty versus empathy and kindness strikes me as one of the most basic and profound.

Pritzker framed his address around life lessons learned from The Office, the popular TV program. At one point, he speaks of spotting the “idiot”–a person who may have been promoted instead of you, who may be your supervisor, who may even have become president of the United States.

“The best way to spot an idiot? Look for the person who is cruel.”

I would love to hear your thoughts about the point Governor Pritzker made in his speech, which for obvious reasons has found its way onto social media platforms now, almost one year later, about the need to evolve from cruelty to compassion and kindness–and to choose the latter characteristics in ourselves and our leaders.

Annie

Published by annieasksyou

I've been a nonfiction writer for many years, exploring diverse topics that pique my curiosity, as noted in my first blog posting (Greetings!). I'm seeking dialogue with others committed to joining me in this exploration, sharing my conviction that different views can be exchanged in a respectful, civil discourse where we can learn from one another and be agreeable, even when we disagree. These postings depend for their enrichment on your participation: your ideas, insights, knowledge, opinions, and personal stories.

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29 thoughts on “On Cruelty vs Empathy and Kindness…”

  3. I know of few, if any, other politicians capable of making such a profoundly moral and intelligent address….and yet, a cruel and ignorant man like Trump was elected President before and has a good chance of being elected again. Pritzker nailed it: too many people are reverting to the primitive instincts of their ancient ancestors, and the rest of us will pay the price if we don’t WISE up.

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    1. I believe Trump’s chances are fading every day, mm.

      By sheer coincidence, the Washington Post printed a lengthy, repetitive article yesterday about Biden’s stuttering purportedly becoming a campaign issue. Despite the headline, the writer repeatedly demonstrated Trump’s cruelty in falsely claiming Biden stuttered when he clearly did not—and Trump’s linking this non-issue to claims Biden is incapable of running the country—as compared with Biden’s talking about his stuttering as a defining factor in his developing empathy for those who struggle, and his public encouragement to boys who told him he’d made a difference to them in dealing with their own stuttering.

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  4. That was a great speech, Annie! Thank you for sharing it! And you already know my thoughts … I completely agree with every word he said. And I agree with you … the difference between the two presumptive candidates is exactly that — the difference between compassion, kindness, caring, empathy, vs cruelty for self-enrichment. The difference between day and night, light and darkness.

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    1. Glad to share it, Jill. I felt that since it resonated so strongly with me, it might well affect you all similarly.

      I’ve written about our November presidential choice in similarly stark terms. No two men could be such polar opposites.

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      2. I think he’s still “Joe from Scranton,” Richard. But the times require him to be larger than life, and he understands that too.

        With a post-Covid economy that’s the envy of the World and some significant legislation so popular that Republicans who voted against it are claiming credit for it, he still knows many Americans don’t give him credit for accomplishing anything—and a substantial minority don’t even think he was legitimately elected.

        Part of me wonders how he gets out of bed every morning. Yet there he was last week, campaigning in every damn swing state.

        Normal, for sure. Extraordinary, too.

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  6. He has a point. A lot of human kindness is based on empathy, which is one of the most sophisticated brain processes of all — empathy involves the mind creating a mental image of the internal emotional state of another mind and reacting to it, which is really raising consciousness to a higher order of complexity. It’s not surprising that people who are mentally deficient in some way have difficulty doing this or even find it impossible. They can’t form an internal mental picture of another person’s feelings, especially of someone whose feelings are different from their own (that is, what little capacity for empathy they have only works for people who share their own culture and opinions). Not all kindness depends on empathy in that sense — even some animals are capable of kindness — but empathy is at the root of our ability to restrain a lot of our worst impulses.

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    1. I appreciate your elaboration, Infidel. Thanks for taking the time to provide it. I did think about the fact that many animals demonstrate what appears to be kindness; researchers may eventually uncover some aspects of empathy. But for now, I believe the Biden administration recognizes that although MAGA diehards are attracted to Trump’s overt cruelty, many Americans find it repugnant. Biden is leaning in on his stuttering (see my response to mistermuse below) as a factor that contributed to the development of his own empathy: the ability to recognize and try to help people who suffer from various physical or other hurdles.

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    2. Please be more careful with your choice of language. Because some people’s brains work differently from the majority, doesn’t mean they are “mentally deficient”. I have almost complete aphantasia, which means I cannot form mental images of any kind, be they related to vision, taste, smell, hearing, touch, pain, emotions, etc,. Additionally I have alexithymia, which means I have difficulty experiencing, identifying, understanding, and expressing emotions in myself and in others, which for obvious reasons would also make “creating a mental image of the internal emotional state of another mind” extremely difficult, if not impossible, even if I didn’t have aphantasia. Neither of those two characteristics either individually or in combination, make me, and other people like me “mentally deficient”.

      “[E]mpathy is at the root of our ability to restrain a lot of our worst impulses“. Perhaps. But it is also at the root of a great deal of collective harm caused through Perceived Emotional Synchrony (PES) – in other word, collective empathy. For example PES can lead to:
      (a) conformity and group-think, where dissenting opinions are suppressed for the sake of harmony.
      (b) deindividuation, where individuals lose their sense of self and may engage in behaviours they normally wouldn’t, such as violence during protests.
      (c) reinforcement of in-group biases and prejudices against those who are not part of the group or who are perceived as different, leading to exclusion or discrimination.

      Cruelty can be a direct consequence of PES. As an autistic person I have been subjected to (c) above my entire life, where I have been the target of group bullying, and on occasions, group violence simply because I’m perceived as being “too different”. In fact within autistic communities, we have many “in jokes” about how non-autistic people “suffer from emotional contagions”. While we may joke about them being “deficits” we do understand that it’s just a different way of being – something the non-autistic community refuses to acknowledge about autistic people.

      Might I suggest, that instead of collective cruelty being a lack of intelligence and/or empathy as has been suggested, it’s actually a “natural” although harmful consequence of PES – something virtually every non-autistic person “suffers” from by the boat load – even those who most otherwise perceive as being kind and smart. I table 70+ years as an autistic person living in a neurotypical world as evidence.

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      1. Oh, my, Barry: how exhausting it must be to have to keep educating people about these issues that are fundamental to you—but about which so many of us are oblivious!

        I am deeply sorry that my post and some of our exchanges were offensive—though most appreciative that you took the time to respond.

        I’m in the early stages of researching PES—a new concept to me—but it seems that perhaps it’s too much of a good thing. I’ll acknowledge it’s hard for me to grasp that empathy can actually result in cruelty: a groupthink that begins positively but might turn to violence is quite the opposite of my understanding—and of Pritzker’s and my fellow commenters, I believe.

        But you’ve certainly gotten through to me, and I’ll continue grappling with this as I attempt to understand it based on your description—and to keep in mind your admonition to be more careful with language.

        I will note that when I’ve read some of your blog posts (the description of how your Māori son-in-law has enriched you, for example), I’ve thought of you as a kindred spirit, simply person-to-person.

        So whatever differences may exist in our various perceptions, I’m grateful to have the opportunity to read and learn from your observations.

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      2. “but about which so many of us are oblivious!“. I think this is the crux of the matter for every minority or disadvantaged group. And in a male dominated society, I daresay it does to some extent apply to women as well. I don’t like to lay blame when one is oblivious to a condition/situation they are perpetuating. But I do believe I have a responsibility to speak out otherwise how is anyone to learn anything different? I’m fortunate enough to be able to speak out when many in my situation are, for many reasons, unable to do so. And I’m very grateful to those who stop to listen and take on board what I have to say. So thank you for listening and not simply dismissing my words as unimportant.

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      3. 🥂🙏 I’ve often said that one of the things I love about blogging is that we learn from one another. This is one of the most important exchanges I’ve been fortunate to have had, Barry.

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    1. There’s some evidence that a good number of people who say they’re for Trump haven’t seen him lately and have no idea about all the crimes he’s been accused of, Neil. I’m hoping the Biden campaign, which has so far proven very effective on messaging (particularly the digital team– shooting out quick videos on social media) will educate many more people.

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  8. Just about every commencement address I’ve heard was boring. This one is spot on. A major reason tRump’s followers cheer for him is his overt cruelty to immigrants, racial and religious minorities, and people struggling financially. The parallels to 1930s Germany—large-scale approval of a cruel wannabe dictator—are scary indeed.

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  10. I appreciate Pritzker’s speech but I’d modify it slightly. Cruel people are often stupid—but not always. Trump seems like a great example of what Pritzker is referring to and I’d hate to see Trump become president again. I also worry, however, about a cruel person who is ten times smarter than Trump some day making their way to the oval office.

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    1. You’re right, of course, Carol. I think we’ve all probably come across people who are both cruel and smart. Ever the optimist, I’m looking forward to our post-Trump institutions putting safeguards in place that would make a smarter Trump 2.0 impossible. Of course, if SCOTUS had been true to the Constitution, Trump would not have been permitted to run again.

      Good to hear from you! I saw you have a new post available that I’m eager to read.

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