Rorschach Test or Garbage? Posted on March 16, 2023 by tengrain Or both? Anyway, I have no idea of the provenance of this, but I cannot stop laughing. ___________________________________ Thanks to tengrain for this superb example of a rare artistic achievement I'm calling collage de garbage. May it be a harbinger of things to come--very soon--from … Continue reading Reblogging a Very Witty and Timely Mock Paper Scissors Post
Category: humor
#BooksWithWallace! and Happy Pi Day
I stumbled across this tweet from author Don Winslow in my carefully self-curated Twitter feed. My follower numbers are still low enough so the algorithms spare me the hatred swirling about that platform. Rather, I get some gentle little slices of life such as this one. I hope you enjoy it. https://twitter.com/donwinslow/status/1630666462808666115?s=20 My Internet search … Continue reading #BooksWithWallace! and Happy Pi Day
Amid the Awfulness: A Bit of Fun…
There's a great deal that's concerning about the 118th Congress. For example, --I heard a discussion about the national security implications of the world's seeing the Republicans' fiasco in choosing a Speaker as a sign of our weakness. Foes have been emboldened; friends have been jolted. President Biden's reminder that when he first met with … Continue reading Amid the Awfulness: A Bit of Fun…
I Think We All Need This…
https://twitter.com/QueenLesli/status/1558125131540619269?s=20&t=Sab8VCm9uU9L1tTKzJLbIg We must hope the penguin's assistant is treating him/her well--and the proper conditions for penguin good health are just outside the camera's range (an ice bath, for sure). In my heart, I know this cutie shouldn't be in captivity. I've persuaded myself that the artiste is having lots of fun and will be just … Continue reading I Think We All Need This…
We’ve All Just Gotta Hang In There…
In my severely dog-deprived state,First thoughts of that photo, I’ll relate,Were that I’d dognap her right away--And also double her doggie pay! But broadly thinking about these timesThat try our souls, I reach for rhymes.The furry gymnast now says, with care,“We’ve all just gotta hang in there!” Please let your imagination roamIn responding to this … Continue reading We’ve All Just Gotta Hang In There…
This Pot Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be!
(Gotta mix things up in Annie land; it’s time for a breather from the headlines.) Way back in February, I wrote a piece called “It’s the Cereal, Stupid!” about my spouse’s and my cereal/serial bickering over the every-other-day task of generating steel cut oatmeal for our consumption at breakfast.
Bill-Barr One Mo’ Time…I Seek Refuge in Rhyme
Bill Barr Image courtesy of commons.wikimedia.org We’ve all had a lovely reprieveFrom Bill-Barr’s penchant to deceiveBut he’s back with a hook:It’s his new “tell-all” bookWith li(n)es he assumes we’ll believe. Let me state that I will not payOne cent for this Bill-Barr display;I can learn what I needFrom reviews that I readOf the Truth he’ll … Continue reading Bill-Barr One Mo’ Time…I Seek Refuge in Rhyme
“It’s the Cereal, Stupid!”
A Millipede Has How Many Legs? (Caution: Trick Question)
And why should we care? If curiosity and learning for learning’s sake aren’t enough, I found this story suggestive of the sweep of history and millipedes’—and our—places within it. Please accompany me on this creepy-crawly journey that, despite the overly ambitious topic, I’ve tried to keep mercifully brief.
And Now, For Something Completely Different…
A bit of fun with two budding four-footed Instagram stars.
It’s All in the Attitude…
A couple of fun items from social media.
MY GOAL…
A quick hello as I move toward resuming my twice-weekly blogging schedule.
Tomorrow…
An explanation for some probably imminent blogging lapses...
Wherein Annie the Blogger Became a Money Launderer…
A Cautionary Tale? Probably not...
My Vote for “Best in Show”…and Welcome to Our Newest Holiday!
Some fun with our furry friends...and a brief appreciation for the recognition of Juneteenth as a national holiday.
The Website Advised Me To Name It…
Wherein I stumble into a lively and rich new world that's actually surrounded me all along.
Patella–Pashmella! I Go With the Second Opinion
Revisiting my approach to forthcoming knee surgery: beyond my imperfect patella, described in imperfect rhyme.
Our Garden’s Color Palette…
A spring tribute to the joys of Nature so close at hand.
A Paean to My Imperfect Patella (and my fondness for acrostics)
Dealing with a surgical dilemma, I resort to the comfort of an acrostic to describe my plight.
FROM M*A*S*H TO SCIENCE COMMUNICATION WHISPERER: THE VERSATILE AND HUMANE ALAN ALDA
Alan Alda, invariably remembered as Hawkeye Pierce in the TV show M*A*S*H, has had an extraordinarily diverse career. He recently received a very special award. I link to the award presentation video and tell you some of the highlights of this remarkable man's achievements.
The Little Guy Wins!
Thoughts (in couplets) inspired by a gentoo penguin's flight from killer whales in Antartica.
Backstage in My Blog World: An Explanation and an Apology–Revisited
NOTE: I have had a more-than-usual amount of crappy tech snafus in my blogging and personal life the past few days. Rather than bore you with all the bytes that bit me, I decided to reblog one of my earliest posts--written shortly after I began this blog two years ago. I'd like to think I've become slightly more technically adept since then, but... Some of the explanatory material about WP was necessary because at the time I had more email subscribers than fellow bloggers. I had fun writing this piece, and I hope you'll have fun reading it.
Got Inner Critic(s)? Meet Annie’s and mine
I was delighted to receive an invitation from fellow blogger da-AL to be a guest writer on her blog, happinessbetweentails.com. You can read about her many talents there. The fun part was that da-AL took “My Attempts to Play Nice With My Inner Critic” and added her own thoughts to the post she titled: “Got Inner Critic(s)? Meet Annie’s and mine.” So this post is a two-fer! Click on “View original post” below–and you’ll see da-AL’s thoughts, followed by mine.
But nobody’s offered me a solution to my dilemma yet. Perhaps you will?
Happiness Between Tails by da-AL
Charles Schultz, the creator of “Peanuts,” made other work besides that comic strip. It’s said he battled his own gang of gremlins. Lucy, the psychiatrist from hell, for one. (Peanuts image courtesy of pixy.org)
My inner jerks specialize in novel writing. Inner criticizing is just the beginning — they’re outer and everywhere.
A tongue-twisting ditty to be sung to whatever tune strikes your fancy:
“Here a critic… There a critic… Everywhere a crit, critty, critical critic…”
Moreover, mine barge in with droves of friends.
Have you got any? If not, how the heck do you pull that off?
I could list mine for days and days: Why you takin’ so long with them books you keep talkin’ ‘bout? Ya really gotta do that instead of this or those things or them stuff right now? Lookie here, there’s this to do that’s way more pressing and tons more fun! You’re wasting…
View original post 1,279 more words
OH, RATS!!
Around this time last year, I wrote a tribute to my late friend Peter, a wonderful, generous soul with a brilliant, restless mind and a quirky wit. Among the many things Peter taught me was how intelligent rats are. He loved rats, and through his eyes and tutelage, I came to see these “filthy rodents” in a fresh way.
Some Call It “Fragrance”…
What’s that acrid, dreadful odor? A decaying animal within our walls? That’s happened once or thrice— A facet of our coexistence ...
OMG! What Would Albert Schweitzer Have Said?–A New Episode
The timing is eerie--and not because I wrote the original post admitting to my commission of Murder One: Beetlecide so close to Halloween. No; my unease is due to the fact that the episode that occurred just days ago is pretty darned close to the anniversary of my previous offense. Surely that has meaning...
My Mindfulness Recipe for Smoothie Shakes-While-Unshaken
Wherein I learn-by-doing the power of mindfulness in handling everyday mishaps (Recipe included...)
BLOCKED!
Though we had ample warning, I--ostrich-like--wasn't quite prepared for the move to the new techie demands.
A Mid-Pandemic, Anti-Panic, Slightly Manic Flight of…Oh, I Dunno
Dribble is a silly word.
Maybe not when we’re talking about the Harlem Globetrotters—or kids in a schoolyard testing their prowess by bouncing, bouncing, bouncing that ball on unforgiving asphalt, then arcing skyward toward a topless/bottomless structure seemingly stitched by a gargantuan spider.
Or a baby’s slo-mo Vesuvius after imbibing squished bananas and squashed squash from a teensy spoon dipped too generously into a tiny glass jar by a harried automaton-a-mama whose patience is now pandemic-thin. In such instances, the word bib, found conveniently nestling within the word dribble, is very useful indeed.
How I Found My Inner Harpist On My Smartphone
Ah, the image: I am seated at a magnificent golden harp, my flowing blonde tresses resting on my shoulders, my tall, slender body leaning slightly forward, long fingers playing glissando after glissando. I am just warming up, but I am already enraptured.
Oh, the reality: It’s true that I’m thin and have long fingers. The rest of the description is more problematic.
The Attorney General for the Person of the US Receives Scrutiny
The Attorney General for the People Person of the US Receives Scrutiny
Once again I must turn to Bill-Barr
To examine behavior bizarre;
This is not the first time
That things seem to skirt crime
And his antics sink less than subpar.
Mindfulness and Trumpiness–plus a little something extra…
In the world of the lovingly kind
I’ve found myself caught in a bind:
Consumed by my hate
It made my gut ache
’Twas a matter far over my mind.
Here’s a Guy Who Really Made Good Use of His Time!
Nobody would ever accuse me of being a math whiz, though I do feel I have skills some of my younger acquaintances lack: I eschew a calculator on occasion to make sure the various cortices of my brain responsible for addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division get a little workout.
You just never know when your battery may run down while you’re stranded on a desert island and have an immediate need to balance your checkbook.
Oh, and there’s another mathematical task that I’ve mastered. An older friend told me not long ago that physicians who are concerned that a patient may be in the early stages of dementia will test mental agility by asking said patient to subtract backwards from 100—by 8s. I’ve gotten quite facile at that effort—and have moved on to 7s with similar success.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I’m inviting you to join me in exploring a story that involves number theory—a deep dive that I have no business whatsoever attempting. But my friend Allan, who excels in math, knows I like quirky stories and thoughtfully sent me this one, which appeared in Popular Mechanics.
What’s On My Menu? Annie Needs You…
I’m not about to write of food
Or remembrance of repasts
My blog is clogging up right now
And I need your help real fast.
I used to have a sub-menu
That offered all my oeuvre
But a WP Engineer warned
Its growth was a SNAFUer.
My Fraught Relationship With The Man-In-The-Box
I reallyreallyreally do not like inanimate objects talking to me. I avoid Siri, preferring to do my own research than to hear her voice—or to have her record my every Internet search (though I hold no illusions about privacy anymore…). I am not tempted to invite Alexa into my home to find that old Sinatra record for me, thank you very much.
And back in the day when we actually got into cars and drove places, I always resented the high-pitched voice of that GPS woman, who on occasion directed us to dead-end streets and once recommended that we exit sharply to the right when we were in the middle of a bridge. I’m not accusing her of malicious intent, but her satellite-guided bumbling was not a confidence-builder. I am perfectly capable of bumbling on my own.
Why then, do I invite the man-in-the-box into my life practically every day?
Another Trip to the Lighter Side…and a Message of Hope
I guess I'm making a large leap in assuming that a) you haven't seen this photo before; and b) you've had the Zoom experience that so many of us have been introduced to in this time of social distancing.
Living Through a Pandemic: The Lighter Side
Please don’t get me wrong: I am appalled, shocked, infuriated, and beyond sadness at what’s become of our country and world.
But I also know that laughter is the best medicine, and even smiling has been shown to have a positive effect on our immune systems. As we all need our immune systems to be as strong as possible now, I thought I’d tell you some fun things—a few real, others of undetermined origins that have found their way to my inbox. (I hope you haven't seen them already!)
Wherein My Personal Blogosphere Expands Via a Fun Exchange With a Super New Acquaintance
I’ve often said that I’m one happy blogger: I love to write and to research new topics; I’m grateful for your feedback; and—this was one aspect of blogging that I hadn’t anticipated but is becoming one of the most valuable—I feel personally enriched by meeting so many extraordinary, talented people from all over the world.
The most recent is Judy Dykstra-Brown, a poet, writer, artist, and lecturer who blogs at Life Lessons. She’s a prolific blogger, posting something—sometimes several things—every day. That energy alone boggles my once-or-at-most-twice-weekly blogger mind!
Is There Anything Funny About the Coronavirus Pandemic?
How about this?
Outside My Window…
Our Goldfinches
A portent of spring,
Still garbed in winter’s drab gray
They crowd the feeder—
Six at a time, reserving each perch.
A Substitute Rant–
The WordPress Happiness Engineers are cheery;
They respond as best they can.
But a SNAFU is making me weary;
What you're reading is not what I'd planned...
And Now a Word From Our…
Sponsor? I have no sponsor, and my accountant says that’s a problem because it also means I have no blogging income. Thus, after a year of blogging and accurately filling out the appropriate Schedule C form itemizing the costs I incur in this endeavor, I am in serious danger of slipping to the wrong side of the law.
According to my accountant, I will no longer be able to take those vast deductions, which could possibly reach all the way into triple digits.
The Drabble Liked My Dabbling!
I am a fairly verbose writer who’s long been wedded to my nonfiction status and believed myself incapable of writing fiction. But on just my second try, my bite-sized piece of fiction has been accepted by The Drabble, a blog featuring fiction, nonfiction, and poetry of 100 words or fewer. That’s quite nice, so I’d like to tell you about it.
OMG! What Would Albert Schweitzer Have Said?
Last night, I committed premeditated Murder One.
Specifically, it was beetlecide. Doing so was not my first preference. If a nearby window had been open, I would happily have deposited the little being where it belonged. That is my normal modus operandi. Albert Schweitzer had an influence.
Doggone It! Where’s My Doggie?
I am severely dog-deprived. I smile at every canine within yards of me and pat any whose companion humans give me permission. Today I accidentally happened upon a blog post by someone who wrote about the loss of her pup and included a video of him, in his prime, singing what she assured us was “Happy Birthday to You.” It made me weep.
My grandnephew and his fiancée have a dog that might well have been a disaster. Much to our dismay, they acquired him from a pet store, where he’d spent the first six months of his life in a crate. But he is now a wonderful, lovable mush, nicely trained, and I would dognap him in a millisecond if I could get away with it.
Quarks ‘n’ Genes (Some Subatomic, Electronic, and Molecular Musings)
[Note: As this is Labor Day Weekend, my brain is taking a holiday from blogging, and I am reaching back to my personal archives for a poem I wrote nearly two decades ago.]
I’m trying to fathom this wondrous new world
Of black holes revealed and of wormholes uncurled,
Of hyperspace, cyberspace, space here and there,
Of DNA fingerprints gleaned from a hair....
23&WE: The Democrats Debate (With apologies to Chaucer for imperfectly borrowing his rhyme scheme)
Now listen, friends, as I unveil the chorus
Of those I’m calling 23&WE
We’re not discussing folks who came before us
It’s those who say what this country should be
And how they’ll make enough of us agree
They’re poised to set out from the starting gate,
And one of them may well decide our fate.
My “Freeze” Moment
When the world is too much with us—as it occasionally is for me lately—we often turn to nostalgia. My fellow blogger JP recently wrote a delightful post about a childhood “Freeze” moment: while playing a piece in a piano recital, he lost his place, couldn’t find it, recovered as best he could, and somehow lived through the humiliation.
I guess we all have “Freeze” moments when we wish we could turn back the clock and get a do-over. JP’s post reminded me of mine, which occurred when I was a high school senior. My current self finds all this quite amusing, but those decades ago, my sensibilities were different.
Whither the Mueller Report?
An Exploration in Rhyme...
Zen and the Art of Vacuuming: A Near-Fable
An Introductory Note:
I have been practicing mindfulness meditation for quite a while, and I am quite serious about it; it’s had a beneficial effect on my life. But in my description of my blog, I speak of “seeking dialogue to inform, enlighten, and/or amuse you and me.” The emphasis here is on “amuse.” I realize things have been pretty heavy in Annie’s blog world, with focus on climate change, the political scene, and race relations, so I thought it was time to lighten up a bit in this holiday season.
What follows is a piece I wrote some years back, which was published in a now-defunct humor magazine. It still amuses me, and I hope it will elicit a smile from you as well. Perhaps it will also evoke feelings in concert with my desire to find common ground…