Observe that large container of (expensive) vanilla protein powder (roughly 1/3 full) used to make smoothies to keep weight up has been tossed by spouse in error
Spend twenty minutes attempting to open new large container of vanilla protein powder
Pour 1-1/2 cups almond milk into blender
Reach into newly opened protein powder for scoop
Drop entire container of (expensive) protein powder onto kitchen floor; watch contents spreading over wide area of ceramic tile, missing no grouting whatsoever
Release profanity, repeatedly and loudly, into otherwise unoccupied kitchen
Dust off protein powder residue from sweatpants, sandals, and feet
Sweep protein powder from tile, grout, nooks, crannies, corners, spider webs
Standing closer to countertop, reach into container and successfully add 1-1/2 scoops of protein powder to blender
Add other ingredients: 1 ripe banana; 1 large tablespoon Trader Joe’s peanut butter
Add new ingredient for extra calories: several slices frozen avocado, as Avocado Growers of America have been persuasive that serious dislike for avocados in any form is insufficient reason to avoid this nourishing, highly caloric food choice
Place torn tissue wads into ears to minimize hearing damage from high-decibel whirr of blender
Start blender, press “Smoothie,” step away
When blender stops, press “Smoothie” once again
Remove blender vessel from mechanism, carry oh-so-carefully to counter top
Remove torn tissue wads from ears and discard
Pour smoothie into glass pitcher; murmur “May I be filled with lovingkindness…”
Place pitcher into refrigerator, using two hands and careful concentration
Wash and dry all parts and reassemble blender
Take stock of oneself. Realize self resumed calm immediately after profanities and told self (while extracting protein powder residue from between toes) that all is OK, breathing’s been progressing, self is quite in possession of self.
Notice with considerable surprise that Inner Critic has said nothing about the clumsiness and oafishness of dropping entire container of (expensive) protein powder onto floor.
Ponder whether profanity frightened Inner Critic into silence.
Discard that conjecture: Inner Critic is not normally known for her timidity.
Spouse enters; is asked to assess level of calmness.
Spouse is puzzled but says “Fine.”
Spouse is then informed of the tossed-out perfectly good (expensive) protein powder in explanatory tone free of accusation or the slightest hint of negativity.
Spouse is reassured that the act of accidentally tossing out perfectly good (expensive) protein powder is not worthy of self-recriminations.
Told of the subsequent series of events, spouse confirms that mindfulness has indeed noticeably succeeded as guide through one of life’s trivial events to which one might grossly overreact.
Self mentally thanks all those virtual gurus who have explained over the past several years that the practice of mindfulness won’t ensure one always remains calm despite the circumstances, but may well help one quickly return to equanimity.
Self breathes deeply and smiles contentedly.