
Observe that large container of (expensive) vanilla protein powder (roughly 1/3 full) used to make smoothies to keep weight up has been tossed by spouse in error
Spend twenty minutes attempting to open new large container of vanilla protein powder
Pour 1-1/2 cups almond milk into blender
Reach into newly opened protein powder for scoop
Drop entire container of (expensive) protein powder onto kitchen floor; watch contents spreading over wide area of ceramic tile, missing no grouting whatsoever
Release profanity, repeatedly and loudly, into otherwise unoccupied kitchen
Dust off protein powder residue from sweatpants, sandals, and feet
Sweep protein powder from tile, grout, nooks, crannies, corners, spider webs
Standing closer to countertop, reach into container and successfully add 1-1/2 scoops of protein powder to blender
Add other ingredients: 1 ripe banana; 1 large tablespoon Trader Joe’s peanut butter
Add new ingredient for extra calories: several slices frozen avocado, as Avocado Growers of America have been persuasive that serious dislike for avocados in any form is insufficient reason to avoid this nourishing, highly caloric food choice
Place torn tissue wads into ears to minimize hearing damage from high-decibel whirr of blender
Start blender, press “Smoothie,” step away
When blender stops, press “Smoothie” once again
Remove blender vessel from mechanism, carry oh-so-carefully to counter top
Remove torn tissue wads from ears and discard
Pour smoothie into glass pitcher; murmur “May I be filled with lovingkindness…”
Place pitcher into refrigerator, using two hands and careful concentration
Wash and dry all parts and reassemble blender
Take stock of oneself. Realize self resumed calm immediately after profanities and told self (while extracting protein powder residue from between toes) that all is OK, breathing’s been progressing, self is quite in possession of self.
Notice with considerable surprise that Inner Critic has said nothing about the clumsiness and oafishness of dropping entire container of (expensive) protein powder onto floor.
Ponder whether profanity frightened Inner Critic into silence.
Discard that conjecture: Inner Critic is not normally known for her timidity.
Spouse enters; is asked to assess level of calmness.
Spouse is puzzled but says “Fine.”
Spouse is then informed of the tossed-out perfectly good (expensive) protein powder in explanatory tone free of accusation or the slightest hint of negativity.
Spouse is reassured that the act of accidentally tossing out perfectly good (expensive) protein powder is not worthy of self-recriminations.
Told of the subsequent series of events, spouse confirms that mindfulness has indeed noticeably succeeded as guide through one of life’s trivial events to which one might grossly overreact.
Self mentally thanks all those virtual gurus who have explained over the past several years that the practice of mindfulness won’t ensure one always remains calm despite the circumstances, but may well help one quickly return to equanimity.
Self breathes deeply and smiles contentedly.
Namaste,
Annie
Love this blog post. Way to remain mindful and playful!!
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Hi, Will! Thank you—and so nice to hear from you! I’ve been missing your delightful posts. Have you been occupied with other pursuits—or is this yet another WP snafu?
Cheers!
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I hope everyone follows this recipe to the letter, in every detail. You gotta do the cooking by the book! You know you can’t be lazy!
Pretty difficult sweeping protein powder off of spider webs without damaging them, though.
I hope the resulting smoothie was worth what you suffered for it.
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Alas, the spider webs: you hit a sore spot there, Infidel. Although I’m a gentle soul who would cry again were I to read Charlotte’s Web, in the interests of full transparency (an essential trait now more than ever), I must admit I did not unravel the elegant spider’s lair, remove the granular protein particles, and then reweave. In fact, I was once bitten by a spider (not one of Charlotte’s progeny, I’m sure), and it hurt like hell. So I didn’t feel as guilty as I did when I committed Murder One beetlecide. In that instance, I would have preferred to carry my victim out of doors.
As for the worth of the smoothie, it is utilitarian rather than Epicurean. But I thank you for your concern.
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Add calories? If this in the normal course of life (and not due to some medical need) I’m jealous. And I’m totally impressed at the mindfulness . . . and the profanity, which is how I’m assured you’re human!
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Jealousy is unwarranted: I’m not devouring wondrous things without putting on the pounds. Rather, the aging stomach rebels against so many things that it needs a little boost.
Yeah; the mindfulness seems to have become a good friend—most of the time.
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Was the one here being mindful, mindful that the word expensive was tossed into the mindful commentary and even mindfully in referencing their mindfulness to their spouse who tossed the (expensive) protein without being mindful of its expense? I ask, mindfully speaking.
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That was one occasion when the self mentioned the expensive cost of the powder. However, the self also mentioned that in relation to her dropping of the container and her wondering about the absence of her inner critic. Thus, the self was evenhanded—or —minded in that regard, mindfully speaking.
How the hell are ya, Charles?
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I was mindful of that. However, mindfully, I did not feel I needed to go on, mindfully or not.
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LOL! So well written Annie! I can’t really relate as I don’t like or make smoothies, hence no expensive protein powder in my cupboards, but I see all that lovingkindness practice has come in handy for you. Same with avocados…..I know they are supposed to be good for brain health, but I just can not. My little grand-nephew spits them out. I can think of better items to keep my weight up like DQ milkshakes. But the spiders, the poor spiders, might you have left a little bit of the protein powder on the floor for them? Thus enabled of an additional source of energy, think of the web’s they could weave…
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Joni, Joni—bringing me back to my uncharacteristically lethal behavior toward fauna! Now I shall really have to deal with my inner critic!
I would vastly prefer a DQ shake, but my constitution rebels against fat—and a lot of other stuff. Hence the avocados, which the peanut butter seems to mask.
I’m looking forward to your galette post, however—even if I’ll enjoy it only visually.
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I have a question for you. Was that protein powder expensive?
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Never thought about it til the first container landed in the garbage and the second everywhere else. However, we mindfulness people try not to hold onto regrets, so I had totally forgotten about the cost til I received your comment. Ok; now it’s gone again…
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😂
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This was just what I needed to read this morning. Delightful! Thanks.
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Thank YOU, Susie. So glad to hear that!
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Love this!!
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💕
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Ha ha, I enjoyed reading this post, thanks for sharing. I really like the lesson at the end too 👌
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Thank you, Kellie. I’m glad you liked my little “recipe.” And welcome to annieasksyou. I hope you’ll visit often and comment as you see fit. Looks like I should visit your blog too; I’ll do that soon!
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Ha ha, yes I enjoyed the “recipe”, was looking around for some mindfulness posts and glad I came across yours 👍
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Well I’m glad I came back in time to see this today. ❤️ I love the way you didn’t make excuses for the profanity (we all use it in this type of situation!) and still had room to be mindful. One does not negate the other. The mindfulness restores the calm. Hope you are well, Annie!
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Thanks so much, Janine. I’m delighted to welcome you back!
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An excellent way to make the best of a bad situation.
I’ll join Joni in my preference for old-school non-powdered calories, but then I’ve been blessed with the constitution to handle them. Too much, it seems, as my struggle is keeping extra weight away.
I am 100% with you on the avocados. I can tolerate a good guacamole from time to time, but that usually comes with margaritas in my world, so maybe I don’t like guac as much as I think I do.
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Glad we agree on avocados,JP!
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Great idea and great post. Thanks.
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Thank you! And welcome to annieasksyou. I’m so pleased to have you join me. Hope you visit often, and this comment is the first of many.
Cheers,
Annie
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